Thanksgiving. My
menopause brain was compromised this year and I mixed up our babysitting
commitments with turkey weekend. I told
everyone we were busy this year. By the
time I realized my mistake, Ky and were feeling thankful we had nothing to do!
A free long weekend.
I quickly committed to our weekly poker crew that we would play Monday
night and as it turns out – they are all available. Liz and Laura will come early for
dinner. Texted Roo and Michael about a
tournament in Windsor Sunday night – they are in! Chris texted and asked if we could watch Joey
while he and Tash went shopping Saturday – perfect. Nothing to do be damned ;) .
Michael arrived at 3:10 sharp on Sunday afternoon and we
headed to pick up Roo at the 401 and Col Talbot. It was a quick two hour trip to the Casino
and we filled the drive with stories about grandkids, the US election, and prep
for our tournament. Roo had her cheat
sheets printed out and poured over them; pausing frequently to seek clarity
from Ky. I did my best to jump in with
my advice – yet the questions continued to be prefaced by “Ky?”…wtf….lol. I love our friendship with these two.
When we arrived Ky and Roo headed upstairs to the Poker
Room, Michael went to get a Rewards Card which he needed to register for the
tournament, and I cruised the casino floor.
I chose my seat, fed in $40, spun a few times and hit a bonus;
$199. Smiling broadly I made my way
upstairs and by 6:15 we were in our seats waiting for the tournament to begin.
Michael was at table 73 while Roo, Ky and I drew for table
75. With our $65 on the line we each
took in the competition, assessing our table mates while we waited for our
cards. 71 entrants. Mostly men; maybe 7 or 8 women – four at our
table. A chatty guy between Roo and I
commented that “usually I’m looking at ugly mugs around the table – this is
different”. I took in his comment,
realizing he was being friendly and he didn’t seem to know how to engage with
women without referring to appearance.
So interesting.
As the cards were being shuffled a women approaches our
table with her chips and a paper in hand. She
smiles at the table demurely, “I’ve brought my paper with me. Can I keep it on the table so I know what
hands win?!” she giggled, sliding into the seat beside Ky. My eyes meet Ky’s, and her’s widened
slightly. Great. “I’m just here to have fun!” she
continued. She looked at Ky; “It’s a
friendly game right?” Ky shrugged, “Sure.” “My husband’s right there” pointing at table
74. “We were just down stairs and heard
about this and thought – what they heck!
Let’s do it!” I am feeling
irritated. I am aware Roo, Ky and the
other serious woman at the table are not impressed either. I’m observing the interactions and realizing,
this is what is expected of women; – too much talking, a flip of hair, seeking
approval, deferring to men, giggling…..superficial “noise”. Not substance, not focus on the game, not
serious competition. So interesting.
I raise the pot and everyone folds except her.
She flips her chips in, “It’s just a friendly game right?” She looks down the table at me. “What the hey!” she giggles. The flop comes and I bet again. Another call.
I’ve got it, and I’m feeling confident.
She calls again. I’m curious what
she might have. On the river I bet the
pot. “Hmmmmm” she muses, toying with her
chips. Finally she slides her cards into
the muck, “Ok, you look pretty serious.
I guess I’ll fold. You must have
it.” I muck my cards and scoop the
chips. “Gosh, you guys are so serious,”
she continues. “I thought it was just a
friendly game.” Not wanting to appear as
aloof as I felt, I place my thumb on my nose and wave my fingers at her,
smiling. That elicited laughs all around
and she also smiled, “That’s better!”.
Yep, it’s better that the women are acting silly. So interesting.
Ky followed my lead then, leaning toward her table mate and
advising, “See the size of that ring on her finger? She’s always got it.” Wink.
More laughs around the table.
Everyone sliding into their roles.
So interesting.
The games moves on.
Chips sliding to and fro. Cards
being mucked.
Ky raises and is called.
The flop comes, she raises again, seriously, a big bet. The table quiets. He calls quickly and Roo and I exchange
glances. What’s she got? The turn, another big bet – now she only has
about two thousand back and there must be twenty k in the pot. He just calls. The river.
Ky shoves her two k. He
pauses. I’m shocked. You only have to call 2 k buddy – what are
you waiting for?? He folds. Everyone is surprised. The dealer shoves the chips towards Ky. “Show your cards.” He says. I’m confused.
She doesn’t have to show. He
folded. Ky flips over her full house Q’s
full of J’s. She leans forward so that
she’s looking square at the dealer. “Why
did you tell me to show my cards?” He’s
silent. They guy beside Roo and I says, “He
folded. You didn’t have to show your
cards.” So helpful. Ky levels her eyes in his direction. “I know that.” She turns her head back to the dealer. “I want to know why you said show my cards.” He shifts in his chair nervously. “I was just curious.” He offers lamely. Ky stacks her chips, not taking her eyes off
the dealer. “I highly doubt you would
have told a man to show his cards.” “It’s
over” one of the other guys mutters. “There’s
nothing he can do now.” “He could
apologize.” Is Ky’s measured response.
Silence all round. So
interesting.
Again the friendly guy quietly says to Roo and I, “she didn’t
have to show” as if that made any difference.
I set my ante across the line and looked to my left, “Remember how you
said there are often no women here? That’s
why. He would never have told a man to
show his cards.” Then I turned toward
the dealer, “It’s never too late to adjust though.” He ignored me. So interesting.
The man who was in the pot with Ky is taken out. A new man comes to fill his spot. I’m the big blind. 7,6 hearts.
The woman beside Ky puts in a small raise and I call. It’s the two of us again. The flop comes and I hit my six. I bet.
She calls. I check the turn and
she does as well. The river comes and she shoves all in. It’s only two K more – I’ve got seven k in the
pot. She looks nervous. She’s not talking. Lol. I call.
She turns over a 5 and I take my chips.
“The ring.” Ky says with a tilt of her head. There are more glances around the table but
no one laughs. She called with a pair of
sixes?? Women aren’t supposed to make
tough calls. My nemesis scurries off to
tell her husband the bad news. “Nice
hand.” Says the friendly man to my left. So interesting.
The fourth woman at our table has her Aces cracked and
leaves. Another man, a late entry, fills
her seat and sets down his 7.5 k. The cards
are dealt. I look down at A,Q. My heart beats faster. I’m the big blind. There are a few callers, including the new
guy. When it comes to me I raise the
pot. Quick folds all round except for
him. The flop comes 8,8,K. I bet; he calls. The turn hits my A. I check; he bets; I call. The river is a brick. I check.
He shoves all in and as people look away from the play expecting a fold,
I clearly state, “I call.” Attention
quickly come back to the table. He looks
at me shocked. This time when the new dealer
says to him “show your cards, she called” it’s accurate. He turns over nothing and I flip over my A,
Q. Roo quickly says, “Nice hand Deb.” Ky nods her approval, and as he leaves she
deadpans to the table, “Guess he didn’t notice her ring.” Laughter all round. Couple more guys say, “Nice call.” It’s break time.
After the break Roo is eliminated as she pushes her short
stack. (Good play – just didn’t work
this time.) She approaches Ky to collect
a book from her backpack and heads to the café to read. It’s about 10 pm I think. Shortly after that, I make a bad call, then try
to get creative with pocket 6’s and before you know it I’m out. Ky and Michael continue on.
I head back to the casino and slide $20 into a new
machine. The first spin hits a bonus -
$395 the lady beside me smiles and advises me to take the win and not give it
all back. I smile as well. I text Ky the good news and print the ticket.
Around 11:00 Ky texts that she’s out. Her K’s were cracked by A,Q. There are about 18 people left – including Michael. We meet in the café and commiserate about Ky’s
last few hands. Roo will continue with
her book, Ky and I head back to the slots.
I give Ky the ticket for $395 to take home, and play with the $199.
Michael also goes out with K’s! He made the final table – so proud!! Unfortunately, it’s the top 8 who get paid
and so his reward is only the knowledge of how well he played to pass 61 other
players and finish in the top 10.
Roo treats us to a midnight dinner at Legends where we celebrate
the Jays victory and Michael’s poker prowess.
We pull away from Caesars at 12:53 a.m. The drive home is quiet as Roo sleeps and
Michael catches up on his phone. I too
nod off as Ky navigates the pylons and construction on the 401. By the time we crawl into bed it’s after 3
and sleep descends quickly.
Today, I’m left with my thoughts about our societal norms
and my place as a soon to be crone. I continue to be amazed at the things I’ve
not noticed before now. That leaves me
with much patience for others as I continue to learn. That’s this morning ~ in reflection. Last night, I must confess I had moments of
impatience at the table. So interesting.
