On the twenty-fifth of each month Ky and I each take a
moment to acknowledge our anniversary. A
quick phone call, an email, or a kiss in the morning if our memory is
especially sharp that day. We have done
this every month for 26 years. Every single
month we acknowledge our gratitude for each other and the life we built
together. It feels so good to do this.
We have talked over the years about why our gratitude is so
strong. Maybe it is because we have not
had the luxury of taking our relationship for granted. We never assumed we could make a life. We never envisioned ourselves as
grandmothers. Over the years we have accomplished
so many lovely things in the context of our relationship. We did it. We are doing it. It happened.
We have made a life. We are
grandmothers together!!
This year to celebrate our anniversary we made a date to
have dinner at a quaint restaurant we had been wanting to try. On Monday night, after work, we headed downtown
and enjoyed a glass of wine, appetizer, seafood, beef and finally homemade ice
cream and a chocolate brownie. It was delicious
… just like our life.
During dinner I gazed across the table, a little dreamy
about our accomplishment of this 26 year milestone. As I surveyed her
face, her hair, her eyes, the way she ate her food and sipped her wine, I took
in every detail of the Ky I live with now.
I find myself more in love with her now.
I thought I loved her so completely when we first fell in love, but what
I know now is that love can grow. I know
her so much better now. There are so
many beautiful little nuances that I appreciate, which I did not see in the
beginning. Certainly I had no idea what
an incredible grandmother she would be or how she would enhance my own ability
to grandmother. She has always brought
out my best.
Ky is different than me in so many ways. In the beginning that was hard to navigate
because I thought we had to be one way or the other and I was most comfortable
with my way. :) Now I have come to know that we are better
each being fully ourselves and letting the contributions flow depending on
which strength we need. The differences
we claim are only a problem if we fight them!
When I do not expect Ky to be any different that she is and I love her
as she is, all is right with our world.
I am so glad we figured that out early.
I feel accepted and celebrated by Ky. I know she often (most often) would do things
different from me, and even so, she lets me proceed without comment. She names the things she admires about me and
demonstrates her love so often and so easily.
When I have a miss-step she overlooks it.
As another anniversary passes I once again marvel at my good
fortune in finding a partner who is perfect for me in every single difference.
Thanks be.
I still wish that Ky was my grandma!
ReplyDeleteLove
Peter
I'm so proud of you both Deb. You are so wise xxx
ReplyDeleteYou both compliment each other! Love you both for who you are!
ReplyDeleteLove you more
ROO