Today I took the plunge and started a nutrition and exercise program. Yikes….saying it out loud like this is a little intimidating.
It’s just time.
Before my sister died I had lost 42 lbs and was feeling so healthy and strong. Since that time (Dec 2003) I’ve put all that back on. When I think about why all I come up with is choices. I chose inactivity. I chose comfort food. I chose portions that were double what I needed. I chose to ignore what my body was telling me. (Hey – you’re creating poor health – stop it!)
So – today I choose something new. I’m going to listen to my body. I’m going to recreate this vessel that houses my spirit. I’m going to attend to my physical health the way I attend to my spiritual health. I’m excited.
Thinking about the loss of my sister in my life I’m remembering the impact seeing her body without her spirit had on me. As I looked at her in the coffin I was overcome by the realization that her body was nothing without her spirit. Her body was not her. Her spirit was her. The vibrant, exciting, captivating woman I knew and loved was not there. Her body truly was empty. Contemplating this, could it be that also our spirit is nothing in this world without our physical form? We need this body in order to be present and grounded here.
I believe my sister is on to her next life, and I also believe she has a new and different body hosting her spirit. That body will be as alive, vibrant and captivating as her last one because her spirit creates that energy.
I need my body, and my body needs my mind to make conscious informed choices.
Today, in honour of my sister, I’m beginning again.
thanks for being honest to yourself about the choices you chose over the years were the cause of you feeling unhealthy. Truly, I still hear people with myriads of reasons or excuses why they gained weight or feel blah... the blame is on an external factor.
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of you, and if you see this as a lifestyle and not a short term goal you will success.
Add bonus for you to stay motivated is having that wonderful wife on the same page as you, who would like to look and feel healthier.
Be patient with yourself and do not focus on numbers. This is tabu for women especially. Focus on how you feel, look and clothes fit.
Love you
You inspire me once again, my dear friend. Thank you for your honest soul searching wisdom. It has helped me to look at the reality of my "choices". I walked in the woods today for the first time in months. No excuses about pain, no challenge as to how far.... just a wise choice of walking in the woods with someone I love. Thank you, Queen Bee. You are touching my life in profound ways!!
ReplyDeleteDeb wow....Good for you. I know exactly how you feel. I did the same thing after Bev's death gained weight...did not have the heart to go to the gym regularily, ate for comfort and when Bev was here with, me that is one of the things we did together. I still see her in instant replay standing on the strider machine - in my living room trying to do my Tae Bo instruction video! We will never ever come to terms with her loss but we can honour her memory by honoring ourselves. Yes we deserve to be our best during our time on this earth. I know you will make tremendour progress and in no time at all be your best physical self - and your spirit will be happier in it's holder.!!
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