Seeing it....finally

Yesterday I spent the afternoon driving my wife to a work appointment. The trip was an hour out of the city so it gave us a nice piece of time together. We took the pooch along. There is always something peaceful about him sleeping in the back seat. It was good.

On the way home we stopped and picked up local veggies to have for dinner. I’m so proud of us. We’ve been eating healthy for 9 days now, the pounds are starting to drop, but most importantly, we’re both feeling better. No more popping Rolaids and groaning after dinner. :0)

Our conversation drifted into the uncomfortable territory of my jobless situation. I shared how I was feeling about needing to decide – job, school or my own business. Then, as she so often does, she said just the right things. “I don’t care which of those you choose. I want you to be happy. I’m not worried. We will figure things out. If you’re doing what you love everything will be good. I don’t want you to take a job you aren’t going to enjoy. You need to “live” in your work. I understand that. What do you want to do?”

There it was……what do “I” want. And because she had created such a safe container for me, I was able to answer – for her and for me! As an extravert it’s often that I work things out as I’m speaking about them. When I start a conversation I truly might not know where I’ll land. That was the case this day. As I shared with her my struggles and my worries, my dreams naturally followed.

“I want to help people. I want to coach and mentor people to be their best. I want to support their growth. I want to make a difference. I want to help. I don’t want to just work for someone else. I can see myself working in my own business and doing great, loving it and being successful – for me and for my clients!” And then I was sure. This is what I want. This is a calling really. I’ve been so lucky to try it on in my last job and prove that I love it and that I’m good at it.

“I do want some technical training though.” I was able to say out loud. “I know it’s a lot of money but it will help my confidence and also it will give me the details I’ll need for clients like you.” I looked at her and smiled. She smiled back. “You’re right. You need the training. You need the training to show you – you know this stuff!”

I was able to name my worry that she didn’t want me to work for myself, that she was worried about money, that she wished I’d just get a job. She told me none of those thoughts were hers.

Before bed I went on line at the local University and registered for the first course required for certification in coaching. It starts the middle of September. I can’t wait. I’m so excited! I haven’t felt this enthused about anything in quite awhile.

Thank you wife of mine. Once again you’ve helped me see.