I'll take the clubhouse deluxe.....

Sunday, April 21, 2013 was a BIG day.  We were on the road by 8:15 a.m. heading to Zurich for Kaitlyn’s baptism.  I had filled a cooler with everything needed to make an Apple/Cranberry punch and Ky had added two bags of ice and loaded it all in the van.  We gave a quick call to Jan just to make sure she and Jon were on their way and then we settled in for a lovely drive with little traffic and lots of sun.

As I prepared the punch I could hear Mike and Kim’s voices as they arrived at Rick’s and then I knew Raymond had seen Grandma Ky.  I knew this because I heard his squeal of “Momma!!!!” and could picture her scooping him up.  She told me later the smile on his face when he came through the door and saw her there was a wonderful treat, topped only by his bear hug when she picked him up.

The baptism went off without a hitch.  When the minister did her children’s talk before the service began she talked about Kailyn’s baptism and asked the children who could tell us what being baptised means.  The five children, who ranged in age from 5 to 10 or so, were unable to offer anything in response.  She asked the question a couple of different ways; still nothing.  Showing her good humour she then laughed out loud and said, “Well then, I guess there is quite a lesson just in that isn’t there?”  We all hooted.  I couldn’t agree with her more.  The stained glass windows were radiant with the sun streaming in and Kaitlyn was precious in a white satin dress, nestled in Mike’s arms.  As we sang the final hymn Raymond leaned up to me and asked, “Why is that towel hanging there?”  He was referring to the altar dressing J  I explained that it was hanging there to signify and special place where the minister could stand and talk about God.  I’m laughing inside now as I realize he likely had no idea of what the word “signify” means.

A lovely pot luck lunch was enjoyed following the service and then about 1:30 Ky and I said our good byes and headed to Mom & Roy’s for our time with them.  I was aware of us being what’s called the “sandwich generation” in that we are supporting kids and parents.  I guess in our case, we are actually a “club sandwich - deluxe” as grandkids are also thrown in there.  Whatever we are ~ I suggested to Ky that we slip into Grand Bend before the lake house and pick up a coffee.  We’d had a full day on Saturday and both of us were tired.  Caffeine would be just what we needed to be fully present and more alert for Mom & Roy.

The coffee was a good call because we spent the next 3 ½ hours listening, responding, talking, cajoling, teasing, challenging, hearing, pondering, offering, receiving, grieving and loving.  I don’t know if I can adequately portray what an intimate, honest, enriching afternoon we had.  Mom was amazing in speaking to her experience.  She was open and honest and able to help us understand what she thinks and how she feels.  Roy also opened his heart and soul to us.  I understand so much better now where he’s coming from.  He shared hopes and fears he has.  He talked about some theories he has and he listened intently to Ky and I as we challenged his reasoning.  We were careful to respect his process.  We worked hard to be patient so that he had enough time to fully express himself.  We all shed tears together.  At a particular moment when I was overcome, mom reached out and took my hand.  She held it for many minutes until my tears had subsided and I again engaged in our conversation.  I have to say I cannot remember another time in my 53 years that mom reached to comfort me in that way.  I’m not saying she hasn’t done so – I’m only saying I cannot recall a time.

In the end, the afternoon with Mom & Roy was perfect.  Both Ky and I knew we had made a difference.  We felt loved by Mom & Roy, we loved them back, and they knew it. 

We know there are no easy answers; we're ok with that.