This day I Marry my friend......

A wedding is such an affirming event.  So much planning and preparation goes into the day.  Usually everyone shows up in their finest and for 20 minutes or so – it’s all about the love!  I’m not sure about you – but for me, it’s a time of reflection and basking in the glow of my own marriage. 

Sharing space with a couple who are celebrating their love is a blessing.   I’m grateful to Colleen and May ~ in choosing to be married in front of family and friends, they’re giving us the opportunity to embrace the day and leave here more in love than we arrived.

Although I haven’t known them for as long as many of you; I have often observed May and Colleen’s love and devotion.  In preparing for this day, I asked them to share their story with me. They are a couple who have overcome obstacles and faced challenges.  As I listened to them talk about their early days of friendship and getting to know each other I was struck by how nieve they were.  I was also reminded that 25 years ago I was that nieve young woman who discovered I was in love with my best friend.  It’s an incredibly complicated and heart wrenching journey.

I recognized the struggle May and Colleen described. 

There is such innocence in that unexpected love.  It isn’t sought ~ and yet it appears and will not be ignored.  Once embraced it cannot be reversed and it is only then a question of how things will unfold, not whether they will.

Conversations about the path to this place always include their early concerns for their boys.  Disrupting the lives of our children is not an easy choice – but sometimes it’s inevitable.  What parent here has not shed a tear of concern over the well-being of our children?  I’ve came to the place of understanding that we teach our children more by what we do than what we say. 

Demonstrating compassion, empathy and love in the midst of making choices that answer our own heart and soul teaches our children to listen to their own heart and soul.  Being steadfast in what we know to be true in the midst of resistance demonstrates to our children courage and integrity.  Being patient while they navigate an unexpected and unplanned path offers them acceptance and builds their confidence.  Colleen and May have told me how proud they are of their boys and in the stories they’ve shared I hear their love of these children ~ who are now men.  How well their journey has prepared them for life!  What wonderful role models they’ve had!

Now – as Colleen and May stand before us, ready to make their vows and walk into the future with their heads held high, those early days, when the path was not so clear, are only memories. 

But they are memories that elicit gratitude.  This day was not always envisioned.  May and Colleen are incredibly grateful to be here.  They don’t take this day or their relationship for granted.  They understand the blessing.

May and Colleen, after 25 years, I remain grateful every day for Ky.

I wish for you that longevity of gratitude. 

I wish for you the joy I feel when I hear the garage door go up and know she’s home. 

I wish for you the confidence I feel because I know I am loved, and the safety I enjoy because I know I am always considered. 

I wish for you the inspiration I feel because I know Ky only expects my best, as well as the peace I feel because she also accepts my worst. 

I wish for you the pride I feel when one of our children looks to us for guidance and advice because they admire the life we’ve made.

I wish for you the heart swell that comes from watching each other as grandmothers.

Finally, I wish for you the unending passion that burns when souls destined to unite accept their fate, and give in to love.

Thanks be to God.