Confidence is something I’ve always linked to my faith. It has been easy to have confidence because I have faith things are unfolding. I’ve not required any specific outcomes and have let the unfolding happen without measures of right or wrong, this or that. I’ve always been ok with what is. My faith has been unchallenged.
It’s not that tough things haven’t happened; growing up with a mentally ill father, choosing myself over a bad marriage, walking with my children through all that that meant, when my sister was killed in an accident,,,,,there have certainly been lots of emotions to process and grief to express. Regardless though, my faith is solid.
So, what’s happening now? Is the melancholy something to be inquired about or accepted as part of the unfolding? I guess it’s because my personality is normally upbeat, lively; happy. The melancholy feels unusual for me. I’m a little uncomfortable in this place.
Maybe the lesson is to “be” not trying to shift out of this place but breathing into it. That thought gives me pause. Although I can’t explain it, that thought feels right.
I am going to stay in my faith, accept that melancholy is where I’m meant to be right now.
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